Decisions and denizens of Douchenozzlery™ on this NWA POWERRR

No one outside of Aron Stevens has channeled The Power of Douchenozzlery™ better than Carson Drake. He has mánaged to work his way in the National Wrestling Alliance and even holds the Television title. But now he will face both Pretty Boy Smooth and Baron von Storm in a triple-threat match.  Plus, Big Strong Mims and BLK Jeez will tag team in the main event against Mike Mondo and Slade as a teaser of what will take place at The 2025 Crockett Cup.

Also, allow me an…

(Author’s Note:  Yes, I know Crockett Cup came and went, and there is going to be a lot to unpack when it airs, either on “X” or the new Roku channel.  That said, hold on and we’ll cover it as the stories develop.)

In any case, we come to you from the PowerrrStation at the WEDU Studios in Tampa, FL. Joe Galli, Billy Corgan, and Danny Dealz have the call. Your First Match of the Night is a..

Daisy Kill and Talos vs. Damien Fenrir and Dante Casanova

Been an age since Fenrir graced us with his presence, as well as Casanova, who currently holds the NWA Midwest Championship after defeating Pretty Boy Smooth.

Fenrir and Talos start, and he foolishly slaps the big guy.  Talos leaves his mark on the upstart and then tags in Kill, and Fenrir puts on the brakes.  He chops and does a running backflip over Kill to avoid his attack.  Tag to Casanova, and they nail a double suplex on Kill, and the Jaguar Warrior keeps the Rock Star grounded.  Things are looking good until Fenrir tags himself back in.  Casanova is looking nonplussed but steps out.  Fenrir whips Kill to the ropes, where a blind tag by Talos makes him the legal man.  The seven-footer picks up the six-foot-one Fenrir and nails a fallaway slam with little effort.  He and Kill cut the ring in half, and Fenrir knows he’s in Peril when he eats a chop by Talos that you’d swear makes his soul want to escape.  He sets up the choke slam, and Fenrir manages to elbow his way out.  Hot tag to Casanova, who is a Jaguar en Fuego, and at one point he drills Kill with a Jaguar Claw slambouncing his head off the mat like he’s plaming a basketball, and then follows with a lariat.  He runs the ropes, and just like before, Fenrir tags himself in and tosses Casanova out of the ring.

Jerk.

Kill grabs an accordion, and while he and the ref bicker over the foreign object, Talos comes from behind and just powerbombs the bejesus out of Fenrir.  

Your Winners via Pinfall:  Daisy Kill and Talos

I’ll be surprised if Fenrir comes back after that beatdown.

We get more segments of Aron Stevens:  In His Own Words.  This is where everyone speculates what kind of food he would be, and Stevens likens himself to fondue in that he adds something with more taste than ever before. NWA Heavyweight Champion Thom Latimer likens Stevens to a mosquito in that he’s a bloodsucker and a parasite. Corgan is pressed again by the producers to offer any redeeming qualities of Stevens, and the NWA Owner mentions, “He dresses well.”

He does dress sharp, I will testify to that from when I was at the NWA 75 pay-per-view.

But let’s head to the ring as this next match is for the…

NWA World Television Championship: Carson Drake vs. Baron Von Storm vs. Pretty Boy Smooth (with Pastor C-Lo and EC3)

If Drake wins, this will be his seventh title defense and will earn him a shat at the Ten Pounds of Gold somewhere down the line.

The title is contested with the 6:05 time limit, and Drake tries to play peacemaker with both men.  Storm aligns himself with CBD as they go after six-foot-six Smooth.  The Pretty Boy is pretty sick of Drake as he clubs the champ, and then he and Storm duke it out.  In the confusion, a schoolboy by Drake gets blocked, and Storm and Smooth take turns putting the hurt on the champ.  Storm attempts to go for the Iron Claw at 4:17, but Drake manages to evade the dreaded hold.  Storm gets Drake in a sleeper, while Smooth locks in another behind the Baron.  Drake fights out, as does Storm, and he lands a double jawbreaker to break both men’s submissions.  Storm whips him to the corner and nails a splash, and then chops away.  He connects with a Samoan Drop and signals for the Claw, but instead Storm pops the trunk in honor of the late, great Jax Dane.  With 2:00 left, Storm stomps away while Smooth talks to C-Lo and EC3 at ringside about some new strategy.  That’s when Exodus Pro’s Brandon Beretta jaw jacks Smooth at ringside, and Drake dances oblivious of his surroundings as Storm cinches the Iron Claw.  The clock winds down, and Drake fights for dear life.  Storm finally gets his shoulders down on the mat, however, time runs out before the ref can make the count.  So once again…

Your Winner via Time Expiration and Still your NWA Television Champion:  Carson Drake

Drake escapes again via The Power of Douchenozzlery™, but Storm still has his grip on his head.  Beretta hands the globe to Storm to calm him down, and he finally releases the submission. Drake asks for Kyle Davis, and with his seventh title defense in the books, he calls out Thom Latimer.  

Yep, that’s gonna happen, folks, and admit it:  You want that smug look on Drake’s face wiped off by The King of all Evil just like me.

There’s more of Aron Stevens:  In His Own Words, and he talks up why he is the best.  He claims he will attack in a myriad of ways and is a master of Mongrovian Kara-Tay (rest in peace, Joseph Hudson). The Ten Pounds of Gold has eluded him, and it means a lot to fulfill his destiny, since his dreams of being a jockey at the Kentucky Derby will forever elude him.

Latimer offers his thoughts as EC3 sits down next to him.  The Overlord states that he comes in peace. He wants Latimer to hang on to the title and promises him that on the 365th day, he will rise again and reclaim the Ten Pounds of Gold.

Oh, and as for the match Latimer and Stevens will have, it will be a Mint Julep Match.

Which brings me to this next moment as I direct the NWA an…

(Author’s Rant:  Guys!  I can mix a drink and am the ideal candidate for such a match.  Next time, holla at me when the mixology match takes place!)

Now for the Main Event between…

BLK Jeez and Big Strong Mims vs. Mike Mondo and “The Spectacular” Slade (with Rolando)

After everything Jeez has been through, from his medical issues to getting shot in Philadelphia, it is very heartening to see him lace up the boots and get in the squared circle.

Jeez and Slade begin the match, and The Church’s Money shows no sign of ring rust, even though Slade puts on a technical display.  He elbows out and tags in Mims and the NWA National Champion is Big and Strong and pissed off.  He punches him in the corner, and then Slade and Mondo show tag chemistry as they hit Mims with an atomic drop to a running bulldog, respectively.  Mondo covers for a near fall.  He connects with a lawbreaker, and Jeez tags back in.  He goes to suplex Mondo, but gets countered.  The Church’s Money is in Peril as Slade nails with a double underhook suplex, and then cinches an ankle lock.  Back to Mondo, who signals it is Gut Check time, as he lawn darts Jeez’s head with a snapmare driver.  He covers, and Mims breaks the count. They whip the big man to the ropes, and Mondo comes back with a double clothesline.  Mims gets sent out of the ring, and Slade connects with a running knee, and Mondo delivers the Gut Check finisher for one, two, and three.

Your Winners via Pinfall:  Slade and Mike Mondo

After the match, Mondo gets Jeez in a Boston Crab as Mims finally comes back to chase them off and help his mentor.

The show closes on Decision 2025, as Joe Galli stands with the front runners Kenzie Paige, Joe Cazana, and Pastor C-Lo. As Galli gives the candidates their reason why they are the only choice to be the president of the NWA Territory system, Paige shoots straight as she points out to fans, When there is a strong woman and a lying cheating man, you choose the wrong one.”

I mean…that was a harsh assessment that cuts closer to home these days, huh?

Cazana says his family does things by the book, regardless of what they say. C-Lo says Exodus Pro is the leading promotion in the best city in the world:  Cleveland, OH. It brings enlightenment, and he closes by telling fans to believe in me as you believe in Him.

Cazana says he has integrity, unlike C-Lo or Paige.  Galli claims about hearing of corruption in Cazana’s campaign and how he made promises of bribes in front of him.  Cazana dismisses it as blasphemy, while chants of “He’s a liar!  *clap clap!* Clap Clap Clap!” get directed to the man who claims to go By The Book.  Paige has the final word and tells C-Lo to pray because he needs a miracle to beat her, and Cazana should lie on his back since all he does is know how to lose.

That’s a good burn to bring this show to a close.

Top Photo:  Joe Galli (from left) moderates Decision 2025 with Kenzie Paige, Joe Cazana, and Pastor C-Lo on who will be president of the NWA Territories. Courtesy of the NWA, via “X”